The Man Who Made Me Brave: Lessons from My Grandfather’s Love and Legacy

Photo by Dominic Blignaut on Unsplash

The influence of a true man—be it a father, grandfather, or mentor—can shape our identities and futures in ways we often take for granted. For many, a father figure embodies strength, wisdom, and unwavering support. This influence can be particularly profound for those who may not have had a traditional father figure in their lives. The message is clear: whether you identify as cisgender or transgender, you can be a leader and a source of inspiration for others.

Reflecting on my own life, I am reminded of my grandfather, Joseph Edward Mucci. He was not just a name I inherited; he was a cornerstone in my life. A veteran of World War II, he served in the Navy, embodying courage and resilience. His stories of bravery were not merely tales of war; they were lessons in perseverance and honor. He taught me that true strength lies not just in physical prowess but in the kindness and support we extend to others.

One of the most impactful gifts my grandfather gave me was the encouragement to pursue Tae Kwon Do. He understood the importance of self-defense and instilled in me a sense of confidence and self-worth from an early age. This was not just about learning to fight; it was about mastering my own fears and understanding that I could stand up for myself in a world that can often be daunting. I carry those lessons to this day. 

Beyond the martial arts, my grandfather, along with my grandmother, made a point to spend quality time with my sister and me. During those times, they’d bring us to Roy Rogers or sometimes even pack lunches for us—meals we’d enjoy at the duck pond feeding birds and eating potatoes and eggs on white bread, washing it down with Crystal Light lemonade my grandmother would love. These outings weren’t just about food; they were moments of connection and love, reinforcing the importance of family, tradition, and the simple joys of life. We’d laugh as we fed the birds and then end those days in the park getting ice cream from the truck that was stationed by the parking lot. 

One of the best days I’d have with my grandfather was in Manhattan, when he took me to the Museum of Natural History. That day, I learned so much about him—I discovered that he loved living things and adventure. He took me through the Jurassic Park exhibit, and I was fascinated by every roar and fossil. Then we shared hot dogs from a street stand, enjoying the lively city atmosphere and chatter of the passersby. Afterwards, he took me to the Intrepid Museum, where I learned about his heroic past in the war. He even made me a dog tag with his WWII numbers on it, a memento I cherish deeply. I’ve combined it on a chain with his original tag and wear it in his honor on special occasions.

Creativity was another defining trait of my grandfather. As a jeweler, his artistry was not only a profession but a passion that spoke volumes about his character. His work even caught the attention of Joan Rivers, a testament to his talent and dedication. He made a golden bee for her to sell on QVC and crafted a clown pin whose arms and legs could move and flop as it shook—it always made me laugh and think of him. It was a gold and black pin with a red nose.

What stood out most about my grandfather was his unconditional love. He probably knew I was gay long before I did, yet he loved me without reservation. This acceptance was a powerful message that resonated deeply within me. It reminded me that love transcends labels and identities. Having someone in your corner who believes in you can be transformative, allowing you to embrace your true self without fear or shame.

Are all men cut out to be fathers? What makes a man ready to be a father?

For those who may not have had a strong father figure, the message is clear: you can be that figure for yourself and others. Leadership is not confined to traditional roles; it can manifest in many forms. Whether through mentorship, community service, or simply being a supportive friend, we all have the capacity to make a difference. Creating a positive impact in the world begins with self-awareness and the willingness to uplift others. This journey may lead you to become a mentor or a source of inspiration for someone who desperately needs it. Your experiences—be they struggles or triumphs—can become a beacon of hope for others navigating their paths.

The legacy of a true man—or leader—extends far beyond familial ties. It’s about the values we embody, the lives we touch, and the love we share. My grandfather, Joseph Edward Mucci, was a true gift in my life, and his influence continues to guide me to this day. At times like these we should honor those who have shaped us by paying it forward—fostering love, acceptance, and strength in the lives of others.